Accidently Gay

I’m sure you’d have to be living under a rock to not notice the upheaval going on in the United States. It’s on every news channel, every social media feed, and even websites that normally avoid politics are covering it.

I wanted to take a few moments to discuss how Trumps administration is effecting me, and by extension my husband. We are being deeply effected, not in a philosophical way, but in a very real concrete fashion. 

I get my insurance through the Department of Defense, who only in the beginning of 2016 dropped an insurance rider preventing care for transgender people. This rider meant if they could related any medical care you get to your status as transgender, they will deny coverage. Full stop.

In theory, this would just stop coverage for therapy, hormones, and surgery, but it’s much more insidious in practice.

This is when we come to something the community calls “Transgender Broken Arm Syndrome.” It’s when you go to the ER for a broken arm, or anything emergency, but the doctor finds out you are transgender, and then immediately tells you that your pain and suffering, are all caused by your status as trans.

This isn’t hyperbole, or hypothetical. This is a real possibility for transgender people. If the doctor you end up with is even willing to see you, they might decide that every issue you have is related to your being transgender because they are bigoted assholes. Then the bill goes to your insurance that way, and you get denied coverage.

The current administration is not LGBT friendly, and some of the ACA (also known as Obamacare) contains protections from things like pre-existing conditions, and regulations prevent discrimination on the basis of gender identity. They are already trying to remove those.

I get my insurance from the Department of Defense, and am literally a pen stroke away from having transgender care stricken off my coverage. If that happens, I have to risk facing Transgender Broken Arm Syndrome if I go in for things that are not even related to being transgender. It’s a two-for of delight, really. . .

My original plan for my transition had me waiting a couple of years, before deciding on what I wanted for bottom surgery. I had top surgery a year ago, and I felt spacing major surgeries out by a couple years would be for the best.

However, in this climate, I have been making calls, and seeking Group Health approvals for stepping that timeline to this year. We are talking in the next 11 months.

Additionally, my insurance goes through Dr. Meltzer in Scottsdale, AZ, and that adds a whole dimension of air travel and hotels to the process. The doc requires two letters from therapists, one of which has to be a Phd. (Seriously?!)

Bottom surgery isn’t a one size fits all process for transgender men. There are all sorts of things that you can opt for. You have to decide what you want to keep, if you want to build a bigger better dick, or just elevate what testosterone gave you. Do you want to stand to pee, or are you okay sitting to do that. There are options for all of it. This can mean 2-4 surgeries for even the most simple selections.

I feel fairly lucky that I was a nurse for close to ten years, because I have the medical background to really dig in and sort out what I want. I am looking at the “easier and simpler” options, but that still comes up with between 6-7 separate procedures spread out between 2 separate surgeries.

I would have liked to have had more time, but if I don’t leap now, I might not be able to afford it later.

Hilariously, I have spent a month looking at penises. Specifically transgender men’s penis’ on sites like Transbucket to help research what I want done. Thankfully I am medically trained enough to be able to wade through post op pictures and see what I need to make up my mind.

This is how this new administration effects my husband and I. We are diverting all our resources towards making this happen, rather than spread this out over the next few years, and I am have been staring at post op dick pics for four weeks.

I am blessed to be in love with a man that is okay with throwing all our resources at this, but it doesn’t change the fact that we shouldn’t have to do things this way.

To be fair, I’d have had to look at that many dick pics eventually, but thanks to the Trump administration I’ve been doing it all right now.

This is my weekly roundup of the background radiation I am exposed to. It’s usually the bad and ugly of how the world treats LGBT folks, with a heavier emphasis on the T’s. I like to leave the full links exposed because then you can see where the article is.

I am a big news consumer, and here’s what got my drawers in a knot this week.

Headline: Philly commission finds racism in Gayborhood, recommends training for bars, Mazzoni

http://www.phillyvoice.com/philly-commission-find-racism-in-gayborhood-recommends-training-for-bars-mazzoni/

I don’t think this is isolated to Philly. I think there has always been a slant towards white, cis, and male in gay spaces. I also think it’s super easy for folks that range from implicit bias to outright racist to step up racist behavior in the current political climate.

Mostly this bothers me because we can do better than this. These are our people, and we can’t be accepting of this kind of behavior in our own circles.

Headline: A trailer for Michelle Rodriguez’s controversial gender reassignment action film is here

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/01/25/a-trailer-for-michelle-rodriguezs-controversial-gender-reassignment-action-film-is-here/

Here’s what plot there is. A male agent is kidnapped, forcefully transitioned to female, and then sent out to do his job, and probably wreak some revenge in the process. . .

Those more eloquent than I have railed on about how truly fucked up this movie is. It’s another implication that all transgender women are just men in drag. It’s a horror show of badly portrayed transgender issues.

What gets me is Rodriuez’s doubling down on the idea that the role she plays is fine, and not problematic because she’s like, bisexual, and that means she’s one of us, you know? To paraphrase her quote. She used to be one of my favorite action stars of all times, but now I know she’s a person that doesn’t care if she hurts other people, and I’m not into her at all now.

Headline: Controlling mother sues to block her estranged daughter getting transgender treatment

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/01/26/controlling-mother-sues-to-block-her-estranged-daughter-getting-transgender-treatment/

I’ve been following this for a while. The daughter is 17, and had been completely legally estranged from her mother for several years. Then the daughter started to transition at 17, and the mother, accused of abuse, swooped in to try and stop her.

Here is a link to where you can hear the daughters point of view: http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/minnesota-transgender-teen-sued-her-own-mom-speaks-out-n712616

The girl has had her own apartment, and a full time job since 16, and is graduating high school despite being on her own. Her mother has a substance abuse issue, was abusive when the girl came out as gay at 13, amongst the more typical neglect that comes with substance abuse.

I have to admit a bias here because I come from a very screwed up background and had my own job and apartment at 16. I wasn’t able to get it together enough to graduate high school, and chose to get a GED instead. So this girl is impressive in my opinion.

This lawsuit wouldn’t be happening if the ‘Minnesota Child Protection League’ wasn’t fronting the lawsuit. It’s actually not even about us transgender folks, as it’s a backdoor way to get some anti-abortion precedents on the books to stop minors from gaining access to abortion, or birth control without parental involvement. You can tell because this girl is 17 and will undoubtedly be a legal adult before it’s all said and done, and out of her mothers reach.

It is particularly horrifying how people try to reach in and completely destroy transgender people for no other reason than they can, though.

Let’s just do a roundup of the legislative fiasco’s because there are so very many:

Headline: The White House’s LGBT rights page has disappeared

https://techcrunch.com/2017/01/20/the-white-houses-lgbt-rights-page-has-disappeared/

That’s not a good sign. . .

Headline: Doctors say repealing the Affordable Care Act would devastate the trans community

https://qz.com/890149/doctors-say-repealing-the-affordable-care-act-would-devastate-the-transgender-community/

I am one of those folks that is at risk. I get my insurance through a federal agency that only dropped it’s anti-transgender rider in 2016. I’m rushing into consultations and more surgery this year in case the rider is reinstated. I have no idea if I will have healthcare in 2017.

Headline: States Stand in Line to Enact Anti-Transgender Bathroom Bills

http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/States-Bathroom-Legislation/2017/01/21/id/769745/

They listed the states trying to enact bathroom bills.

Headline: Transgender Rights Are Under Attack in These 11 States

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/01/transgender-rights-bathrooms-state-legislature-texas-arizona-wyoming-kansas

Here is another list of states trying to legislate bigotry.

I know there is a lot this week, but I feel like every time I open my feed I am under siege. Trump’s inauguration marked an unprecedented chaotic fiasco in US politics, and he and his cabinet have leveled their sites at LGBT folks, amongst their targets. I’m going to drink a lot of hot chocolate, and call my reps as needed in the long months to come.

This site: 5 Calls https://5calls.org

This site will make it easy to call your reps, and let them know they better be fighting for you. We already know they listen to phone calls, so even if you hate phones, in fifteen minutes you can make a difference.

We have to fight. We can’t go back to the way things were.

This is my weekly roundup of the background radiation I am exposed to. It’s usually the bad and ugly of how the world treats LGBT folks, with a heavier emphasis on the T’s. I like to leave the full links exposed because then you can see where the article is.

I am a big news consumer, and these are just a small sampling of what’s been going down in the past week.

This week is heartbreaking, and we have some transgender deaths. It’s a sad state of affairs that this isn’t shocking.

Here are the four deaths from the news. I used Pink News for all of these because there are not a lot of news sources that specifically report transgender deaths at all, or without misgendering the dead.

Mesha Caldwell age 41, Died 1/4/17
Headline: Transgender make-up artist shot dead
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/01/06/transgender-make-up-artist-shot-dead/amp/

India Monroe age 29, Died 12/21/16, but was misgendered, reported on 1/7/17
Headline: Trans woman shot to death in Virginia misgendered in early reports
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/01/07/trans-woman-shot-to-death-in-virginia-misgendered-in-early-reports/amp/

Jamie Lee Wounded Arrow age 28, Found on 1/6/17
Headline: Two-spirit transgender woman in South Dakota is the second victim of trans murder in 2017
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/01/08/two-spirit-transgender-woman-in-south-dakota-is-the-second-victim-of-trans-murder-in-2017/

Sean Ryan Hake age 23, Died 1/6/17
Headline: A trans man has been killed in a police shooting
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/01/09/a-trans-man-has-been-killed-in-a-police-shooting/

Here’s a few other links that are horrible, but I wanted to give respect to the dead first.

Headline: Senate Takes Major Step Toward Repealing Obamacare
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/senate-takes-major-step-toward-repealing-obamacare

This is a major deal for transgender people. The ACA (Obamacare) provided unequivocal protections for transgender people. By dismantling the ACA, some of those protections will not be in place.

So many of us got legitimate insurance covered care in 2015 and onward. I saw people that had waited decades, suddenly get top surgery and hysterectomies, fully covered. Testosterone covered by insurance?! Amazing. Now that is in jeopardy.

Headline: NO GOOD, VERY BAD BIGOTS DO EXACTLY WHAT THEY PROMISED THEY WOULD DO, FILE ANTI-TRANS BATHROOM BALLOT INITIATIVE
http://seattlish.com/post/155637990966/no-good-very-bad-bigots-do-exactly-what-they

Finding good local blogs are so necessary these days, when big media coverage doesn’t often even touch on local initiatives and ballot issues. This blog is all about Washington State, with a focus on Seattle. I have no idea how they do it, but they are always ahead of the news on these things.

This in particular is how bigots in my state want to file another anti-transgender ballot initiative. if you are in Washington state, keep an eye on this shit. Washington has a good history of bouncing these, but we have to be vigilant because these people never stop trying.

The last two weeks have been filled with bad news above and beyond what I normally get, so I’m out. I’m going to schedule this post, go read the next Whyborne & Griffin gay romance Lovecraftian detective novel, and pretend tomorrow is going to be better.