Background Radiation 4/21/2017

Posted on April 21, 2017 by Wolsey

This is my weekly roundup of the background radiation I am exposed to. It’s usually the bad and ugly of how the world treats LGBT folks, with a heavier emphasis on the T’s. I like to leave the full links exposed because then you can see where the article is.

These are the things that made my hair go whiter with hair pulling frustration this week.

Headline: Dropping Suit, Trump’s DOJ Continues ‘Abandoning Transgender Americans’
https://www.commondreams.org/news/2017/04/14/dropping-suit-trumps-doj-continues-abandoning-transgender-americans

This is a ridiculous situation  where they can say they repealed HB2, while still legislating state enforced bigotry. I feel like they just scream louder that they are not discriminating against us, while discriminating against us. Just because you scream you aren’t, doesn’t mean you aren’t in fact doing it.

Headline: Transgender woman sues to change Idaho birth certificate
http://magicvalley.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/transgender-woman-sues-to-change-idaho-birth-certificate/article_c807817d-64e4-590a-81c1-7bf2d0e86c60.html

I wish her all the good luck I can muster. I am kind of stuck a bit myself, as my birth certificate is in Arizona, and back in the day, you simply could not get it done. Then I was told if a flew to Arizona, and got a court order from a judge, I could do it. Then I just looked it up when I saw this case, and I can have my birth certificate changed, but only with a notarized physicians statement as proof I’ve had surgery. Since I am getting surgery, I suppose I can pursue it next year. It sure would be nice to have one birth certificate with a correct name and gender, rather than have to provide packets of legal documents tracing my name changes and gender changes.

Headline: Transgender patient sues Dignity Health for discrimination over hysterectomy denial
http://www.sacbee.com/news/local/health-and-medicine/article145477264.html

His hysterectomy was cancelled the day before, and it took a bit for his doctor to get privileges in a related facility. Dignity Health is a Catholic institution, and they denied the man his hysterectomy based on Catholic stipulations that they do not provide sterilization procedures. This is a hysterectomy, not a tubal ligation, so this is not a sterilization procedure. The end result would be the man cannot get pregnant and bear children, but it’s pretty obvious they were digging in the regulations to screw him over.

This is an issue for not just the transgender community, as Catholic health services have denied women needed medical treatment under their anti-woman doctrines as well. I was a nurse for ten years, and this comes up again and again, where Catholic doctrine trumps women’s healthcare needs.

Headline: What is a TERF and why should you be worried?http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/04/16/what-is-a-terf-and-why-should-you-be-worried/

This is a good primer on the phenomena of feminist women that have made it their mission to attack transgender people. TERF stands for Transgender Exclusionist Radical Feminists, and was a term that these feminists coined for themselves.

Don’t read the comments. While Pink News is very diversity minded, and supportive of the transgender community, they have a good sized cadre of anti-transgender commenters that seem to come from multiple factions. I commonly see TERFs, gay men, and actual straight hate trolls in there.

Headline: Kremlin, Predictably, Refutes Reports of Gay Crisis in Chechnya
http://jezebel.com/kremlin-predictably-refutes-reports-of-gay-crisis-in-1794489933

So much of my news feed is about the situation in Chechnya. It’s coming in from every news site I have on my reader. It’s not shocking to me that it’s happening, but it is shocking that it’s happening on this scale. Also, considering this is the same way the Kremlin publicly talked about the Annexation of Crimea in 2014, their response is on par for them. It means nothing.

There is nothing I can do about this, but I am super aware people like us are being rounded up, tortured, and killed. This is horrifying.

Headline: 10 LGBT orgs fighting Trump you should donate to on this Give OUT day
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2017/04/10-lgbt-orgs-fighting-trump-donate-give-day/

Lastly, let’s focus on what we can do. Here is a list of 10 LGBT organizations that are fighting Trumps administration on our behalf. We aren’t completely helpless.

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Background Radiation 4/14/2017

Posted on April 14, 2017 by deadaccount22

This is my weekly roundup of the background radiation I am exposed to. It’s usually the bad and ugly of how the world treats LGBT folks, with a heavier emphasis on the T’s. I like to leave the full links exposed because then you can see where the article is.

Today, this is my list of news items that hit “Fuck them” list.

Headline: Johns Hopkins psychiatrist sees hospital come full circle on transgender issues
http://www.baltimoresun.com/health/bal-johns-hopkins-transgender-20170406-story.html

This is an article about how one Dr. McHugh singlehandedly dismantled and stoppered John Hopkins ground breaking transgender program between 1975 to 2001. He is the kind of gatekeeper we run into. A man that wielded the power to deny transgender people medical care, because he feels we are all just in need of psychological help, and have mental illnesses. He does it all under the paternalistic phrase “I don’t mean them any animus, I just want them to get help.” Yet, he helped shutter one of the premier gender clinics of the times, to refuse that help to transgender individuals.

He even recently put out a badly done study, in the The New Atlantic which proposes to say we would not get access to care. The New Atlantic is a conservative christians think tank, according to the article. This study is probably the one our opponents have been waving about lately, so the man is still actively doing harm to the transgender community.

Headline: Look beyond Caitlyn Jenner: Transgender women of color are fighting for their lives
http://www.salon.com/2017/04/07/look-beyond-caitlyn-jenner-transgender-women-of-color-are-fighting-for-their-lives_partner/

This article is a good roundup of how experiences for transgender people have wide disparities when you take race and economic class into account. It’s one of the better articles I’ve read on this.

We can’t really talk about violence against transgender people without being clear that the violence we face is more likely to happen to transfeminine folks, and people of color. Most of the transgender people who are murdered are transgender women of color.

Headline: This Law Firm Is Linked to Anti-Transgender Bathroom Bills Across the Country
http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/law-firm-linked-anti-transgender-bathroom-bills-across-country-n741106

The Alliance for Defending Freedom (ADF) is a Christian law firm that is behind writing at least fifteen recent anti-transgender bathroom bills, just this year. We’ve known for a while, most of these bills are copy pasta’s from a single source, but this is a good article rounding that up. This group is identified as a hate group by Southern Poverty Law. I’m not sure why the stupid article has it as ‘hate group’. It’s not a theoretical designation.

Headline: Victory for mom who couldn’t talk about being lesbian with her sons for 6 years
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2017/04/victory-mom-couldnt-talk-lesbian-sons-6-years/

This is undoubtedly a victory that the court overturned this incredibly homophobic ruling, but it is shocking to me that this could even happen in 2011 to 2013.

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More Anxiety

Posted on April 7, 2017 by AccidentallyGay

I keep meaning to post here. We are back, safe and Wolsey is prepping for surgery at the end of next month. I figured I would talk about how things went, but I found myself putting things off. I made the excuses of work, medical stuff for me, but mostly work. In fact, I have noticed I am reluctant to post anything emotional for the last year or so.

I woke up last week and realized I am having a lot more anxiety about Wolsey’s surgery then I expected. I am worried about our relationship after the surgery. I know logically nothing will change, but this is the same anxiety I had with the top surgery, just a lot more urgent and overwhelming.

I have been having a lot of dreams about that anxiety. I have tried to meditate with my butsudan but with little luck. I would talk to Wolsey (and I have a little) and even though he offers me the knowledge that in fact he will still love me and want to be with me, it still is in the back of my mind.

I suspect part of the problem is that this is the first major thing with Wolsey and the transgender surgeries that I have had to deal with without talking to my parents. With both of them passing last year, I really haven’t dealt with their deaths, let alone deal with the support network they had with me now being gone. I would call them and they would listen without any judgment and then give me the support I needed (which included sometimes telling me to suck it up). They were the only ones other than Wolsey I talked to about any of the transgender issues.

I don’t have a lot of people close to me. I have some friends other than Wolsey that I game with, go see movies or just chat day to day things. However, I haven’t had anyone close enough to really talk to other than my parents and Wolsey for over a decade. I have a hard time letting people in.

It was also my siblings for a long time, and other family members. Sadly, with the death of my parents it was revealed I can’t trust any of the others related by blood other than just to have general small talk.

There it is, my anxiety with Wolsey, and my worries about his recovery from surgery (considering my experience with his top surgery at the same time as my dad’s death I do think I am handling that well). I am freaking out in my head. This is also why I haven’t even considered pursuing anything with anyone else, I just don’t have the mental stability to deal with new stresses in my life.

Even as I write this I know logically nothing but good is coming from this surgery. His physical health will increase after it is over. Our relationship is going to get even better because he can be himself more. Yet for some reason I am freaking out in my head, waking up in the middle of the night feeling like I am drowning. I guess I will have to keep working on it.

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Background Radiation 4/7/2017

Posted on April 7, 2017 by Wolsey

This is my weekly roundup of the background radiation I am exposed to. It’s usually the bad and ugly of how the world treats LGBT folks, with a heavier emphasis on the T’s. I like to leave the full links exposed because then you can see where the article is.

Today, this is my list of news items that hit “Fuck them” list.

Headline: Of course the NCAA sold out the transgender community
https://thinkprogress.org/ncaa-failed-transgender-community-hb2-c70c117569a

This article explains the issue with the NCAA and North Carolina well. It reflects my feelings. I, however, never expect a corporation with money on the line to care about anything but their bottom line. I’m not surprised at all. Professional sports is about making money, and not doing the right thing.

Headline: The Subtle Ways Landlords Keep Out Transgender Renters
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/transgender-housing-discrimination_us_58dd5898e4b08194e3b86483

I worry about this every time we move. We read as a gay couple to the uninitiated now, and I have my papers in order, but still. They set up the test with transgender folks, and similar non-transgender renters at the same rentals, and found that a lot of crap goes down. Showing less of the facility, talking badly about the neighborhood, or even quadrupling the security deposit.

Headline: Author: Trans people can become women for ‘frivolous’ reasons like ‘fashion or clothes’
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/04/07/author-trans-people-can-become-women-for-frivolous-reasons-like-fashion-or-clothes/

This is personal for me. A few years after the Lives and Loves of a She Devil came out, I worked in a small used bookstore. I was handed this by one of our customers, who said as a young woman, I should read it, and I did.

It was not aimed at a trans guy, nor at a woman in my age group. It was written for my mothers demographic, and pointed out how screwed up it was to live in a world where a woman can be tossed aside as she aged, by a husband looking to get a younger trophy wife. I appreciated that, despite not being the target audience. It’s satire was on point.

It was probably one of the first books I ever read with a feminist bent, and I have a serious soft spot for the work.

Now, the author, Fay Weldon, has come out with a new book, where she takes aim at transgender women. . .

Here is a book review from the Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/apr/05/death-of-a-she-devil-by-fay-weldon-review

Just really? I mean, I guess I expected better from Fay Weldon. She had such satirical insight when she wrote the first book, but now she is just like any other TERF taking aim at transgender women. I’m not sure I can ever look at the first She Devil book the same, and accept it’s position in my mind as a feminist work. I’m not a fan of feminism that isn’t intersectional, or leaves women of color and transgender women out. This is so disappointing.

Headline: ‘Anti-transgender’ bus is met by protests in Boston
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-39455371

Remember that terrible anti-transgender bus? Apparently a lot of folks are unhappy with them. The articles below said it took all of 15 minutes before the bus was deluged by protestors.

http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/real-time/Transgender-supporters-rally-against-anti-transgender-bus-City-Hall-Philadelphia.html

http://www.philadelphiaweekly.com/news/philly-protesters-greet-anti-transgender-free-speech-bus/article_4867af48-1898-11e7-986e-17e976928ae2.html

Thank you to all the beautiful folks out there making transgender people a priority.

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Background Radiation 3/31/17

Posted on March 31, 2017 by deadaccount22

This is my weekly roundup of the background radiation I am exposed to. It’s usually the bad and ugly of how the world treats LGBT folks, with a heavier emphasis on the T’s. I like to leave the full links exposed because then you can see where the article is.

I am a big news consumer, and here’s what got my drawers in a knot this week.

Headline: Trump Covertly Dismantles Obama-Era LGBT Protections
http://www.advocate.com/politics/2017/3/29/trump-covertly-dismantles-obama-era-lgbt-protections

This is kind of a big deal for me, working for the federal government. It should be a big deal to everyone. Obama put in place 2 orders. The first offered protections to LGBT folks, and definitely included sexuality and gender in those protections. Trump removed the second one that required contracted businesses to prove they’re complying with federal laws and executive orders. His actions basically made it impossible to enforce the first, rendering those protections null.

Headline: Government-funded report calls care for LGBT people with dementia ‘a woeful failure
http://www.allgaynetwork.net/government-funded-report-calls-care-for-lgbt-people-with-dementia-a-woeful-failure/

This isn’t a new problem, but it’s a growing one as more and more LGBT folks that live out of the closet start aging into a system that isn’t ready for them. I worked as a geriatric psych nurse for years, and this is an issue that I’ve seen firsthand. It’s one of the reasons that I am getting bottom surgery. Many elderly LGBT folks are forced back into the closet, if they have the wherewithal to do that. However, those with dementia, end up treated as problematic, and inappropriate.

I actually had LGBT patients that were treated as inappropriate because they talked frankly about it with their dementia, and it bought them more medications that sedated them. This scares the pants off me.

Today is the International Transgender day of Visibility
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Transgender_Day_of_Visibility

As such, lets put some of this weeks more positive visibility news down here.

Headline: First Transgender Bride on Say Yes to the Dress: ‘I Wanted to Show That Trans People Can Love and Be Loved’
http://people.com/bodies/first-transgender-bride-say-yes-to-the-dress/

Headline: Alpha Chi accepts transgender members nationally
http://www.loyolamaroon.com/10013569/news/alpha-chi-accepts-transgender-members-nationally/

Headline: McGregor hopes to become 1st transgender person on Seattle City Council
http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/politics/mcgregor-hopes-to-become-first-transgender-candidate-elected-to-seattle-city-council/

Headline: ‘I WAS LIVING A LIE’ World War 2 hero comes out as transgender at the age of NINETY – and changes her name from Peter to Patricia
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3204144/world-war-2-hero-transgender-ninety/

Headline: Study links LGBT-accepting campuses with lower risk of sexual assault
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/03/29/study-links-lgbt-accepting-campuses-with-lower-risk-of-sexual-assault/

To be fair, I focus on those things that make me really angry here in Background Radiation, but we are moving forward. I see it weekly. I just feel it is always a “two steps forward, one step back” kind of motion, so I’m perpetually furious.

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Transgender community, for some definitions of the word Community

Posted on March 26, 2017 by Wolsey

I posted this to mu Tumblr today, and the husband thought I should post it here.

Can we talk about community? When I first came out as transgender, I expected the hate, and lack of compassion from the world at large. I expected the possibility of losing my husband, my job, and my home. I was prepared to lead my life, with an eye on possible assailants who wanted to literally beat me to death.

What I was not prepared for was some of the vitriol and bile that comes from one transgender person to another. I’m not talking about the community at large, but I have to say the most intensely hateful comments and attacks I have had, have always come from other transgender people.

There were the transgender men who seemed to take absolute glee in telling me that I wasn’t really transgender in my early transition because my experiences didn’t include crippling dysphoria. There was also the transgender woman that completely unprompted literally screamed, “Shrimpy dick! That’s all you are! You will never be a real man because you will never have a real dick!” because I prefer to be open with my sexual partners before I let them touch me. The discussion was about my experiences, so I felt it was fine to talk about how I have approached my sexual partners. Apparently not?

It’s true that the only thing that binds us together as a community is the fact that we are transgender, and even that is a wide range of experiences as some of us transition late in life, and some of us as children. We range in politics, religion, and culture widely, beyond just being transgender.

What I don’t get is why some of the worst haters come from within the transgender community. I make it a policy to try and be understanding of other transgender folks, and give them the benefit of the doubt, but it’s hard when you watch someone attack a kid just because they experience being transgender differently.

I had a gal hunt me down in the comments of a news article yesterday, to lob some really personal attacks. I asked her why she chose me to attack, and she never answered. It was a comments section filled with hateful transmysoginists denying we exist that I was arguing with, but I guess she felt safe lashing out at me, instead. (I did check, and she is a part of our community.)

That’s when I started to wonder why we attack our own so much. You see it with transition videos, and blogs by prominent trans people in our community. They have other transgender folks that just jump in, and say brutal nasty things to them. I’ve seen amazing people shut down their blogs and videos because of these attacks.

I guess I am not ivory tower enough to really understand. I just know the world is often against us, and I think we should back each other, instead of fighting each other.

I know, for myself, I don’t care how shitty another transgender person is to me, I’m still going to fight for them. Even if the only thing that binds us is that we are transgender, the rest of the world sees us as an other. I guess my life experiences have pushed me to fighting the big guys, not the little guys right next to me.

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We have a date

Posted on March 26, 2017 by AccidentallyGay

Someone hates 4am

The trip down to Phoenix went smoothly. It started super early (4am the day before) and included visiting a couple of restaurants, staying in a decent hotel and seeing a desert for the first time in almost 30 years (actually it is 30 years ago next month I believe). If you want to read the post go here, there is also a gallery linked off that page.

The visit itself is of course what is important here. I was a little worried meeting Dr. Meltzer as he is a proponent of the WPath which isn’t agreeable with Wolsey or myself (the strict requirements of transition). Before we could meet the doctor we sat in the waiting room and it was packed.

We met several patients here that were inquiring about new procedures and some that were getting follow up checkups. All of them agreed that Dr. Meltzer was great. I was swayed a lot, but part of me remained skeptical. I have worked over a decade in the medical field and I am usually more skeptical of doctors then most.

We then met the doctor’s administrator Linda. She was great. She was clear that the doctor and his new associate Dr. Ley were super busy and she was going to do the intake. We joked about doctor office stuff, insurance and the dreaded Trump (this was before the Trump/Ryan healthcare was at least temporarily shut down). She made it clear that the wait period for Dr. Meltzer was very long, even for his new associate Dr. Lay it would be a long time out.

It was at this point that Dr. Meltzer came in and introduced himself. After a few minutes any reservations I had about Dr. Meltzer was gone and my worries were not borne out. He was a great person to meet. He was interested in Wolsey and approached the hubby as a person not just as many surgeons do by treating patients like meat.

We explained to Dr. Meltzer that the DoD may cut Wolsey’s medical at any time, that it was only the year before that anything transgender care wise, was approved. He said they would work around that and if we were willing to have Dr. Ley lead, then it would be even quicker. It would be a Friday and Dr. Meltzer would come in to assist (Friday’s are his normal day off). It was still going to be 2018 before it could be done, but it was six months sooner then Dr. Meltzer himself.

The totality of the surgical procedures would be in two surgeries. I sometimes mix up the two stages so I will let Wolsey talk about that.

As we talked about scheduling one of the admin staff came in. Evidently someone had cancelled surgery for May 30th. The doctor looked at us and asked could we be down here on May 30th. We jumped on it and now Wolsey’s first surgery is scheduled May 30th and his second surgery is November 29th. Everything had slipped into place. This means Wolsey should have full surgery done (excepting any updates needed) before the end of the year.

I am incredibly excited for my husband (and incredibly stressed). We are doing ok, we can swing the weeklong (8 day) stay down in Phoenix, along with a car. We have cleared off enough of the credit card that he is good to go. Work understands I will be gone for two weeks (teleworking as much as I can) and that Wolsey will be off for two weeks and then another 4-6 weeks of teleworking.

While I have unease with my job, I have to say I appreciate that they will allow this to happen. If nothing else my time at this job allows me to pay back a good chunk of the debt of his medical care and to take the time I need to care for him after the surgery as well as be there emotionally for him.

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3/24/2017 Background Radiation

Posted on March 24, 2017 by deadaccount22

This is my weekly roundup of the background radiation I am exposed to. It’s usually the bad and ugly of how the world treats LGBT folks, with a heavier emphasis on the T’s. I like to leave the full links exposed because then you can see where the article is.

I am a big news consumer, and here’s what got my drawers in a knot this week.

Headline: Man charged in attack against trans woman
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/crime/article/Man-charged-in-attack-against-trans-woman-11005026.php

This is practically in my backyard, and it highlights this sentiment of entitlement to know someone’s status as transgender. Transgender women are always stuck in a catch 22 when dating. They are perfectly fine to hit on, and sleep with, but once a guy figures out they are trans, they attack. This is part of the whole “gay panic defense” where a violent criminal can claim they can be excused from attacking a transgender woman because they were scared of the whole gay thing. It’s inexcusable.

Every transgender person deals with this differently. Me personally, I don’t think you should have to disclose for one night stands, or overnight trysts. I would disclose for dating long term, because I don’t want to spend my time with an asshole that would hate me because how how I was born. Cisgender folks often get really riled up about this, and talk about “right to know”. My theory is if they found a transgender person attractive, and slept with them, what does it matter what the history is? It’s far more dangerous to a transgender persons to disclose, than whatever socially instilled bigotry the cis partner is dealing with.

Headline: Eighth trans woman shot and killed in the US this year
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/03/22/eighth-trans-woman-shot-and-killed-in-the-us-this-year/

Pink News is really up on this subject, so that’s why I keep linking to them. I find they seem to really care about the kinds of horrific crime that transgender people, usually women of color, face. I don’t even know what to say, because it’s just so mind numbingly awful how many transgender women have been killed so far this year.

Headline: New Kentucky Law Allows Student Groups to Discriminate Against LGBT Students
http://theslot.jezebel.com/new-kentucky-law-legalizes-discrimination-against-lgbt-1793451056/amp

The laws legalizing bigotry against LGBT folks keep coming in. This one allows public school student groups to discriminate against lesbian, gay, and transgender people, and other minority students. It also allows teachers to use the Bible as an educational text.

It is also big on preventing any repercussions from the above discrimination.

 

Headline: Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe vetoes anti-LGBTI bills
http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/virginia-governor-terry-mcauliffe-vetoes-anti-lgbti-bills/

This is nice. We actually got this discriminatory bill vetoed. It’s still pending in the court of appeals, though.

Headline: Bus with anti-transgender message is vandalized in NYC
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/03/23/bus-anti-transgender-message-vandalized-nyc/99560530/

Okay, there are these bigots, Washington based Organization for Marriage, that put probably close to $2 million dollars into buying a tour bus, and painting it with inflammatory anti-transgender messages. The call it the “free speech bus.”

The whole point of the bus is to try and help put the focus on legislating bathroom bills, and any other legislation they can get through that make transgender people isolated, and without protection.

Then two heroes emerged, and vandalized the bus with graffiti that said, “Trans liberation” amongst other things. They fought off a bus participant trying to stop them, and escaped in what I can only imagine as a Laurel and Hardy style adventure.

The agenda that the Organization for Marriage has is deplorable, and I am grateful for the people that risked incarceration to make sure everyone knew these bigots didn’t speak for everyone. I’m sure they will repaint the bus with their seemingly endless supply of cash from scared hateful people, but for it’s still comforting to know it happened.

Although I do not agree with violence, it’s awfully hard not to smile when people are spending millions on this hate, and a tiny amount of spray paint can sometimes seems like the only dissent.

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Pre-Consult Quiet

Posted on March 19, 2017 by AccidentallyGay

I realize I had been fairly quiet lately. Wolsey’s consult has been this weird, stressful, yet exciting thing coming up on the calendar. Originally we were going to do this consult in a year. That seemed like a good bit of timing, with the passing of my parents, work’s deadlines and just trying to get caught up from the funeral expenses I had expected more of a dead period for us to recover.

Fast forward to Trump being elected, Pence being vice president and Sessions now the head of the DoJ and the stress began to increase. Word started trickling down and eventually a flood of knowledge that the GOP is doing everything they can do to get the ACA repealed and thus the only protections of Wolsey’s medical care removed. Combine this with working for the federal government itself (and the DoD at that) that had the only pre-ACA exception from transgender care that was in Washington State means the timeline got moved up.

 Originally scheduled for late May, the consult was stressful because of the changes happening and the consult was so far away. I hadn’t realized the stress would increase when we got a call from the surgeon to move it up two months (because we have a great case manager with our health insurance and she pushed). They evidently moved it up because they knew we worked for the DoD and we could lose Wolsey’s coverage fairly soon if things go badly.

I thought this was great, I am without a doubt happy we are doing this faster in order to make sure Wolsey has a better chance to get it done before any insurance changes. I do not begrudge that and I think this is our best choice.

However, the downside to all of this is evidently there are a ton of things going on in Phoenix in March. Because we moved up the time to get plane tickets and all of these other events are occurring meant prices for airfare increased significantly over what they would have cost in May. This was frustrating, but once again necessary.

Originally we were told that surgery would be 12-18 months after the consult (we won’t know until tomorrow when Wolsey gets his consult). However, our case manager is working hard and there is a possibility that it might happen by the end of the year.

The stress of having it 12-18 months is not knowing if we will have insurance to cover it from our current job or if I will have to jump to the state (since they won’t lose their coverage of transgender medical no matter what happens with the ACA since its state law that requires it). If it is sooner the stress is making sure Wolsey has enough time off available (I can donate quite a bit of leave to him, just require pressuring my boss to do the paperwork) and the costs we will have to come up with in under a year.

Fast forward to today and I am up at 2am, getting ready to head out at 4am to the airport (another bad aspect, the only flight we could catch required us going to the airport at 4am in the morning).

This stress, along with me trying to learn new stress coping mechanisms with my parents gone (and audit deadline at work, and us trying to get out and do more things) means I have shutdown online this last month or so, so my quietness here is not representative of not wanting to write, or not having things to write about. I am sure I will be back talking about our Arizona trip by Tuesday.

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3/17/17 Background Radiation

Posted on March 17, 2017 by deadaccount22

News to seethe angrily at, while you eat your pint of ice cream.

Headline: How defunding Planned Parenthood could wipe out transgender healthcare
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/mar/02/transgender-healthcare-planned-parenthood-funding

There are a lot of reasons to support Planned Parenthood, but even if you are not in need of parenthood related services, they are a life line. For those of us that are transgender, Planned Parenthood can often provide hormones, consults, and referrals. 

Headline: Why Muslim Americans Should Stand With the Transgender Community
http://motto.time.com/4686987/muslim-americans-support-transgender-rights-grimm-travel-ban/

This isn’t just a hypothetical call to arms for the Muslim community. In Seattle, they are quite clear on where they stand. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/03/02/why-a-seattle-area-mosque-barred-anti-trans-activists.html  The largest Washington state told the I-1515 bathroom bill folks to go take a hike, and pledged that they will not support discrimination of any kind.

This didn’t make me mad. I was just happy that we are all standing together for each other. 

Headline: South Dakota governor signs first anti-LGBT law of 2017
http://www.washingtonblade.com/2017/03/10/s-d-governors-signs-first-anti-lgbt-law-2017/

They are messing with LGBT folks looking to foster children, or adopt. It’s a bigotry filled piece of legislation. I guess the prize for first idiots of 2017 goes to South Dakota. 

But don’t worry South Dakota, Texas is racing to catch up with you: http://www.mystatesman.com/news/state–regional-govt–politics/senate-gives-initial-transgender-bathroom-bill/1i1Iu6YIqdvLa7fzrK7rrM/

Headline: Eight arrested after viral video of brutally murdered trans woman causes outrage
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/03/13/eight-arrested-after-viral-video-of-brutally-murdered-trans-woman-causes-outrage/

They have arrested four men, and four teens in connection to this woman’s murder in Brazil. I have to say I’m kind of shocked anyone got arrested. Brazil sees the murder of an LGBT person every 25 hours on average, and the bulk of that fall on transgender women. 

The New York Times is now talking about this case: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/08/world/americas/brazil-transgender-killing-video.html?_r=0

I hope justice is done. This particular case is really upsetting, especially against a landscape of murdered transgender women that happens so often, it’s hard to find it shocking anymore. 

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