It has been a rough few weeks. Work is more trying on my ethical/professional mores then I had expected. My mom had a heart attack, dad is ill and birthdays everywhere. Finally our cat Marmalade passed away last week unexpectedly (but it was good way to go if he had to go). So life had been a bit hard edged.
This week a situation came up that is something cool, but revealed a big problem. It revolves around my video game let’s play channel. I host an LP channel and I talk about my husband a lot. I talk about our same sex marriage and I am proud of him. I am very proud of the LGBTA scene and surprisingly I haven’t yet gotten anyone freaking out at me.
My husband got offered to give me some keys to a game being designed on STEAM by his coworker’s husband. The coworker volunteered to have the game studio possibly promo my let’s plays and retweet them. It is a cool opportunity. I have never cared for making money on Youtube, its a hobby, but I do like having people watch the videos if they like that thing so this would be great.
The problem is Jello is stealth at work (as in 100% stealth). It is not an open minded place and last thing I need is the coworker or her husband realize that Jello is trans. Not that he really cares, but it makes his job hard. It also makes future jobs hard. The last thing in the world I want is him to be outed accidentally.
The problem is the channel started over three years ago and has over a thousand videos that I put up. about a year and a half before he transitioned. I talk about “my wife” in the first 5-600 videos constantly. I can’t risk outing him either now, or in the future (especially after his top surgery).
I looked at the channel, I might be able to either make private or delete 600+ videos, but I can’t be sure I will miss a video that might out him (and let us be honest, I am not going to watch 1000+ videos each 15-30 minutes long to check).
I could just delete ALL of my videos and start over, but part of me doesn’t want to destroy what I have here. So I am going to have to start over with my channel.
I hate the fact that society is so horrible to trans people specifically and in general LGBTA or other minorities have to deal with this crap.
Oh, and by no means do I hold Jello at fault for this. I know he feels horrible about it, and I have spent the last hour reassuring him that it is not his fault and to be honest it doesn’t bother me too much to do this. I love him, I could give a shit about “followers” and it is a hobby. I will just start over and have fun with it. It will give me the opportunity to rebrand the channel and maybe change up how I do things.
At least I have one complete series of videos available to put up that are new and I know make no references.
I LOVE YOU JELLO and this is not your fault at all.