There are some coworkers who I don’t write about. Not because they are homophobic, or an ally, but just because I don’t work with them much. Some of those people sit by themselves, keep to themselves and they are definitely worth getting to know… usually.

I have a coworker that I shall name Pamela. Pamela is an older woman who has worked for the agency for a few years About a year and a half ago she came to our office. No one really talks to her, no one sits with her and it bothered me. She then came in with a cast and for some reason that day I decided I had to get to know her.

We sat and talked for quite a while. She was kind, maybe a bit conservative but not in the homophobic way. She was excited to meet me and after that day of sitting together she always says hi, always wants me to go to lunch with her. Now, I am a loner at work a lot, at least when Wolsey isn’t there, so I don’t take her up on it very often.

Fast forward to Wolsey getting hired. Pamela was excited to meet Wolsey. Still very kind she always asks about Wolsey, and always wants to do lunch. I really do like Pamela, even if we don’t really have anything in common.

Right after Wolsey came onboard, Pamela’s team moved to another building on our rather large campus. So now I only see her on IM, and occasionally for multi-office potlucks. This last potluck I was deathly sick, but Wolsey went to it. For the week before Pamela kept telling me she had something for us, so I felt bad I couldn’t go.

At the potluck Wolsey talked with Pamela and Pamela talked about her prior boss who was LGBTQIA and how great that person was. She then handed Wolsey a bag of cookies she made, that were pretty darn good, and said “The gays are a gentle and kind people.” I guess right after that she then went on to explain she didn’t understand why her gay boss and another gay coworker fought all the time.

Pamela is very gentle herself, just her uttering “the gays are a gentle and kind people” made me almost spit coffee out my nose.

I figure there is so much out there that is dark, cynical and brooding while we fight off homophobes, bigots and racists that I need to occasionally post about sweet older women and their belief in a kinder and gentler gay person.