Surgery Eve

We are on the eve of Jello’s surgery (more exciting than Christmas Eve). It is time for his chest reconstruction. Things are so hectic right now (father was in and out of ICU, work stresses, etc) that it didn’t really hit me until today. It isn’t that I am upset at his changes. I think it is going to be great, he needs it, wants it and will look hot with it. Most importantly…


I am worried about him. It is stupid and I know it. The surgeon is Doctor Mangubat, he is great, lots of experience. Modern medicine is not nearly as dangerous as it was even 30 years ago. We have his meds (including a $93 pill – yes a single pill, and that is cheap for that pill). However I am just worried about him being healthy.

poor or expensive

I think I am also worried once this is over he will decide he needs to be with someone else. I know rationally this isn’t true, but my own mental issues are on high setting right now.


I honestly don’t have any sage words, or really anything informative or funny. All that I have right now are gerbils (guinea pig I guess) in my head running at full speed and squealing.


I have a ton of things to unpack here, but honestly it won’t be for a few days. He goes into surgery tomorrow morning, I will take care of him next few days while he is drugged out and not in condition to move around. I was fortunate and got next 2.5 weeks off (a few days of teleworking mixed in)  so I can keep an eye on him and his t-rex arms (will obviously make fun of that later).


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9 Responses to Surgery Eve

  1. Jamie Ray says:

    Best of luck to you and Jello! Hope everything goes smoothly at surgery and with recovery. Make sure he stays hydrated and doesn’t try to lift anything heavier than a mug of coffee.
    I don’t know if this will help or not, but I don’t know of any trans guys who left their partner when their partner was being supportive. The guys I know were either abandoned by their partner/spouse because they couldn’t deal with them transitioning, or the trans guy left because their partner was invalidating and hostile/upset. No one left for greener pastures.

    • Thanks for the wishes and for the feedback. It is really helpful and we both really appreciate it.

      I absolutely understand logically he wont (and he has reassured me a lot). It is my own messed up wiring that makes me worry (but I worry about everything). It does help to hear that though, the non-logical part of my brain quiets down when that happens.

  2. Lesboi says:

    Good luck to both of you for a speedy recovery and uneventful surgery. He’s not going anywhere dude. Jamie is right! If things were good before they will continue to be good between you…probably better!

  3. arcmt says:

    Best wishes to both of y’all. He knows the post-sx drill, but because it needs to be said… anti-constipation meds are the bomb. If you need to call – and please do! – we’re both available for a gerbil brain coredump whenever you need it. Jamie & I are thinking of you both.

  4. Much excitement! Wishing Jello and you all the best.

  5. Wes says:

    Super excited for you both. Hope all went well and can’t wait to hear the update!

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