Friday I did it, I finally issued the EEO complaint.
My manager was incredibly supportive. He was disappointed to hear it wasn’t an issue the state could get involved with. He was glad I gave him a heads up because a lot of times an investigator shows up to interview the manager. He also suggested if none of this works, to try and get a class action lawsuit, since if EEO doesn’t fix it, that is about what it takes.
Once I was done talking with my manager, I talked with my EEO officer. Yes the same one that used the word “tranny” last August. However, she obviously has received a lot of education. She was incredibly respectful, and informative. She sent me the paperwork to start the actual complaint which I filled out that morning.
She also recommended that I contact the Assistant Director for my Federal agency and ask if he had any resources. She recalled in the last year he had sent out some communications about it but she couldn’t locate it. That made me nervous, but I figured why the hell not. In for a penny, in for a pound.
I then emailed the Assistant Director and asked him about any support he had. I explained Washington State Law Against Discrimination, the Affordable Healthcare Act and Obama’s Executive Action and my opinion. I was surprised, he got back to me within 3 hours.
He was very honest, he said this was a completely new scenario for him, but he would immediately locate the resources he could find if I could just give him a few days. Just the fact he got back to me so quickly bought him a lot of leeway and this is the federal government, meaning things take time. I told him thank you and I definitely understood it would take time.
I don’t expect we will get Jello cleared for trans care services. I am aware of the beast of the federal government, and especially since I work for the Department of Defense. Jello’s doctor informed us that they are the most recalcitrant and most unlikely to budge. I figure though it is worth the effort. $10,000 for top surgery, not counting if he ever goes lower is incredibly expensive. We could probably swing it with a medical loan (and we are planning that will probably be the actual result) but I hope if nothing else, this makes it easier for those in the agency I am in who don’t have support to get medical care.
I can’t stop being a white knight/social justice warrior. I am aware this may (read: probably will) torpedo future “career” options, but I don’t really care. I have lost jobs before because I called bullshit, and when it deals with my hubby I will burn the world for him.
Will keep everyone updated as things develop.
Accidently Gay 
There is also the other issue. Most insurance companies do not recognize the informed consent model. I hear most still require therapy and notes. Since I used the informed consent model, that might prove tricky even if they approve it.
You are an amazing advocate for your partner! And pushing this through will not only benefit your family, but will make life easier for any one else who should come along later… Being willing to fight these roadblocks will make the world a better place. I hope you are able to get the coverage!
Thanks Ari. I suspect I won’t be here long enough to truly benefit, but I really hope if nothing else it breaks the ice for other people.
This is awesome! It is so cool that you guys are challenging this. Whatever the immediate outcome, you are part of the wave that is creating far more equal conditions for trans people in this country.
Re: top surgery. It is possible to get it done by someone good for less that $10k, at least in terms of the medical expenses. Obviously travel and lodging add up fast if you go out of town. I got mine done by Dr. Medalie in Cleveland and my medical expenses were $6.5k. I paid about half up front and put the other half on a medical credit card.